Dinner Roll

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Another email… author unknown. Really liked this though.

Once upon a time, I was invited to the White House for a private dinner with
the President. I am a respected businessman, with a factory that produces
memory chips for computers and portable electronics. There was some talk
that my industry was being scrutinized by the administration, but I paid it
no mind. I live in a free country. There’s nothing that the government can
do to me if I’ve broken no laws. My wealth was earned honestly, and an
invitation to dinner with an American President is an honor.

I checked my coat, was greeted by the Chief of Staff, and joined the
President in a yellow dining room.  We sat across from each other at a table
draped in white linen. The Great Seal was embossed on the china. Uniformed
staff served our dinner.  The meal was served, and I was startled when my
waiter suddenly reached out, plucked a dinner roll off my plate, and began
nibbling it as he walked back to the kitchen.

“Sorry about that,” said the President. “Andrew is very hungry.”

“I don’t appreciate…” I began, but as I looked into the calm brown eyes
across from me, I felt immediately guilty and petty.. It was just a dinner
roll.  “Of course,” I concluded, and reached for my glass. Before I could,
however, another waiter reached forward, took the glass away and swallowed
the wine in a single gulp.

“And his brother Eric is very thirsty.” said the President.

I didn’t say anything. The President is testing my compassion, I thought. I
will play along. I don’t want to seem unkind.  My plate was whisked away
before I had tasted a bite.

“Eric’s children are also quite hungry.”

With a lurch, I crashed to the floor. My chair had been pulled out from
under me. I stood, brushing myself off angrily, and watched as it was
carried from the room.

“And their grandmother can’t stand for long.”

I excused myself, smiling outwardly, but inside feeling like a fool.
Obviously I had been invited to the White House to be sport for some game. I
reached for my coat, to find that it had been taken. I turned back to the
President.

“Their grandfather doesn’t like the cold.”

I wanted to shout – that was my coat! But again, I looked at the placid
smiling face of my host and decided I was being a poor sport. I spread my
hands helplessly and chuckled. Then I felt my hip pocket and realized my
wallet was gone. I excused myself and walked to a phone on an elegant side
table. I learned shortly that my credit cards had been maxed out, my bank
accounts emptied, my retirement and equity portfolios had vanished, and my
wife had been thrown out of our home. Apparently, the waiters and their
families were moving in. The President hadn’t moved or spoken as I learned
all this, but finally I lowered the phone into its cradle and turned to face
him.

“Andrew’s whole family has made bad financial decisions. They haven’t
planned for retirement, and they need a house. They recently defaulted on a
subprime mortgage. I told them they could have your home. They need it more
than you do.”

My hands were shaking. I felt faint. I stumbled back to the table and knelt
on the floor. The President cheerfully cut his meat, ate his steak and drank
his wine.

I lowered my eyes and stared at the small grey circles on the tablecloth
that were water drops.

“By the way,” He added, “I have just signed an Executive Order nationalizing
your factories. I’m firing you as head of your business. I’ll be operating
the firm now for the benefit of all mankind.  There’s a whole bunch of
Eric’s and Andrews out there and they can’t come to you for jobs groveling
like beggars.”

I looked up. The President dropped his spoon into the empty ramekin which
had been his crème brulee. He drained the last drops of his wine.

As the table was cleared, he lit a cigarette and leaned back in his chair.
He stared at me. I clung to the edge of the table as if were a ledge and I
were a man hanging over an abyss. I thought of the years behind me, of the
life I had lived. The life I had earned with a lifetime of work, risk and
struggle. Why was I punished? How had I allowed it to be taken? What game
had I played and lost? I looked across the table and noticed with some
surprise that there was no game board between us.  What had I done wrong?

As if answering the unspoken thou ght, the President suddenly cocked his
head, locked his empty eyes to mine, and bared a million teeth, chuckling
wryly as he folded his hands.

“You should have stopped me at the dinner roll,” he said.

Wake up, America !

Hmm… A bit of payback

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 ATTENTION! THIS BLOG CONTAINS INAPPROPRIATE MATERIAL FOR LIBERALS!

(and maybe some uptight conservatives with no sense of humor…)

PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

Now that I have my warning label out of the way, I can continue.

No I’m not talking about the next stimulus Obama is wanting to pass… I’m talking about how Obama has GOT to be laughing behind America’s back by now.
I have collected, thanks to my WONDERFUL friends on twitter, a series of jokes and political cartoons and emails about Obama, Pelosi, Biden and the likes. Hope you enjoy.

(Note I did not make up any of these jokes or cartoons myself.)

Time  Warp
Over five  thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel ” pick
up your  shovel , mount your asses and camels , and I will lead you to the
promise land”.

Nearly 75  years ago , Roosevelt said, ” Lay down your shovels , sit on
your asses  , and light up a camel , this is the promised land”.

Now Obama  is going to steal your shovel , kick your asses , Raise the
price of  camels , and mortgage the promised land.

__________________________________________________________

The Marine

A U.S. Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, “I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent.”

“We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road.  I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, low life scum bag who got what he deserved, and he yelled back that Ted Kennedy is a fat, good-for-nothing, left wing liberal drunk who doesn’t know how to drive. So I said thatOsama Bin Laden dresses and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian!  He retaliated by yelling –“Oh yeah?  Well, so does Hillary Clinton!”
“And there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands when a truck hit us.”

___________________________________________________________

Postage Stamp Problems

The Postal Services created a stamp with a picture of President Obama but
the stamp was not sticking to envelopes.

 

This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.

 

After a month of testing and $1.73 million in congressional hearings,a special Presidential Commission presented the following findings:

 

The stamp is in perfect order.

 

There is nothing wrong with the adhesive.

 

People are just spitting on the wrong side.

___________________________________________________________

Briefing

The Dept Of Defense briefed the president this morning. They told President Obama that 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone’s surprise, all the color drained from Obama’s face. Then he collapsed onto his desk, head in his hands, visibly shaken, almost in tears.

Finally, he composed himself and asked, ‘Just how many is a brazilian?’

This is not surprising, since he obviously has no understanding of a billion or trillion either.

___________________________________________________________

Bad Day

When you are having a bad day and think you are having problems, just remember this:

Somewhere in this world there is a MR. PELOSI!

__________________________________________________________

Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around toObama and his bid to be our president.

The old rancher said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘Post Turtle”.
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a ‘post turtle’ was.
The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain. ‘You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, and he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with’.

____________________________________________________________

New GM Car

In a special news conference yesterday, Government Motors announced it’s new concept car. The new GM proudly announces the 2010 Oldsmobile Obama.

This car runs on hot air and broken promises. It has three wheels that speed the vehicle through tight left turns. It comes complete with two teleprompters, programmed to help theoccupants talk their way out of any violations. The transparent canopy reveals the plastic smiles still on the faces of all the “happy” democrat owners.

________________________________________________________________

Soup Kitchen

Michelle Obama went to serve food to the homeless at a government funded soup kitchen.

Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00

Having Michelle Obama serve your soup: $0.00

A homeless person receiving government funded meals while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500.00 Blackberry cell phone… $Priceless

_______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Aaaaaaaaaaand last but not least…. I had to save this one for last… Seeing as my nickname is Black Widow and all, this made me laugh extra hard. Loved it.

Enjoy.

Black Widow

Everyone needs to be aware and be very, very careful!

Very informative

The Black Widow….

This spider, one of only a few poisonous spiders in the USA , can be found all over the states of Missouri , Arkansas , Kentucky , and Tennessee .
The spider releases a neurotoxin into the victim that, if not treated, can cause death!

The Black widow hooks-up with the male then sucks the very life out of him after mating!

She’s very easy to spot…

The female has a very wide backside, is Black, and has a red hour glass shaped marking on her belly….

You can find this spider in:

Closets

Wood Piles

Under Beds

and now…

THE WHITEHOUSE!

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

And the media ensues

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I had to do it. As much as I don’t want to, I must.

All this talk about Michael Jackson has infuriated me. Normally, I could care less about a celebrity who has passed away, and while this is still the case, his death hascompletely changed the media as we know it. Not only has Obama’s socialist agenda been ignored (which surprises me still) but there are men and women who MEAN something to this country that are dying overseas for our freedom.

Now, some celebs I might actually be shocked if they died and be sad for the loss of them. Just to name a few: Robert Dinero, Anthony Hopkins, Brent Smith (the lead singer of Shinedown… he is an AMAZING person and spreads positive messages at his concerts), Michael Jordan, Tim Brown, John Madden…. the list could go on and on. These are famous people who have actually achieved things in life through hard work and failure as well asaccomplishments . They aren’t into drugs (that I know of… or they’re clean now), they’re not constantly in the media for stupid things, they’re not in legal battles for stupid things…

Ok let me interrupt. I just checked my phone, I have service through Sprint, and there is a TV function on my phone. I clicked on it, clicked “live tv” because I wanted to watch soccer. Not only is there a special folder for the funeral for Michael Jackson, there are REPLAYS THROUGHOUT THE DAY!

*sigh*

Continuing…

Celebrities like MICHAEL JACKSON, Paris Hilton, Nichole Richie, O.J. Simpson, Lindsey Lohan, Adam “Pacman” Jones and the likes should not be held up on a pedestal by the media or anyone else!

I don’t want the United States to be represented by people, like those idiots, to the rest of the world. It makes us look bad. I guess what I’m trying to say is Michael Jackson was a druggie and twice accused child molester that should not be held up on high. NO celebrity’s funeral should be covered by all major news networks. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

As I mentioned before, there are men and women dying overseas for our freedom. There are brainwashing bills being passed in the house and senate and the media sits there and says nothing about them, but doens’t miss a minute of Michael Jackson’s coverage. There are missiles being fired from NoKo and the media stands back and laughs. BHO and Hillary Clinton side with dictators in Russia and the media becomes pawns in his hands. Take this excerpt from his speech today:

“Now let me be clear: America cannot and should not seek to impose any system of government on any other country, nor would we presume to choose which party or individual should run a country. And we haven’t always done what we should have on that front. Even as we meet here today, America supports now the restoration of the democratically elected President of Honduras, even though he has strongly opposed American policies. We do so not because we agree with him. We do so because we respect the universal principle that people should choose their own leaders, whether they are leaders we agree with or not.”

taken from http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2009/07/07/3004185-obamas-speech-on-us-russia-relations

Uh… EXCUSE ME! I do NOT support any form of that statement whatsoever! Yes Obama was elected to represent our country, (I didn’t vote for him but whatever) but he’s not doing so well. Maybe the sheeple that follow him and worship the ground he walks on agree with him, but if you read my last blog, even some of the liberals are waking up and seeing the mess he is creating.

Obama is becoming too much of a celeberty. If it’s not about Michael Jackson, it’s about Obama. I know he’s our president, but there has to be SOMETHING else to report about! Hell I’d almost rather hear about burglaries and forest fires than Obama and his constant lies! Either way, I guess it’s pretty depressing, huh? HA.

Even Fox News who claims to be “fair and balanced” has been angering me lately. I’ve hidden the remote and I’m not going to watch news for a week. Seriously. Movies and shows are all good, but I refuse to watch the MSM for any news whatsoever. I’ll get my REAL news via internet and radio. I don’t care about Michael Jackson. Yes he was a great singer and dancer, but he was also a twice accused child molester, drug addict and a freak. The last time I saw this much media coverage over a dead celeb was Ronald Reagan, and to me that was worthy, but even still a bit too much.

The main stream media needs to remember how to report news, and not crap. I wonder if we all stopped tuning in if they would finally get the hint and get back to basics.

Doubt it.

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

Oh blah blah blah…

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Does anyone else get sick of listening to this guy?

This made me laugh so hard…

Anyhow, Barack Obama’s voice is like nails on a chalk board to me. So when it comes time to actually listening to the guy on important issues, it just about takes a gallon of pepto and a nausea pill to make me be able to stomach it.

Funny I mention “important issues” when to him all it seems like is a joke… I truly believe this guy has no interest in protecting this country.Obama has no backbone. If you were to take an X-Ray of him, there would be a stick extending from his posterior to his neck, which is why I think his ears stick out so damn far.

Health care! – lies

War Issues! – lies

No higher taxes! – major lie

Does the guy NOT lie about something? Sheesh I know there’s freedom of speech, but come on man!

Recently on the fourth of July, I got to talking politics with the friends I was with. Now, before the election they were all hard core set on voting forObama and how he was “going to save us all” from Bush. Totally different change of heart. I was pleasantly surprised we weren’t slugging each other over view points. My liberal friends were all ashamed they voted for Obama . EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM REGRETS VOTING FOR HIM AND FEELS BETRAYED FROM HIS LIES… If that doesn’t say something in a red state, I don’t know what does. His constant lies, his savvy attitude, his empty promises… all for what? A country that looks like a dead rat to other countries *coughNoKo cough* A country with the highest unemployment rate in over 26 years. A country that is up in arms and finally taking action. A country that hasn’t seen these dark of dayssince the 1920’s, and hopefully we won’t get that bad!

I can’t remember the last time a president was so controversial (minus Clinton, but his was the sex scandal) over policies.

Mr. Obama… it’s not all about being cool! We don’t care if you’re dressed nice, wear the right shoes or have the latest ray ban sunglasses. Just do the right thing and fix our country. So far you’re screwing it up! I feel sorry for whoever has to clean up your mess.

I’m fed up. Aren’t you?

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

Tulsa Tea Party

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The Tulsa Tea Party yesterday was a success! It poured rain but we all had a lot of fun and got the message out well. I took some pictures that I will share with you here.

I got to learn more about the Fair Tax which I also will upload a video to youtube shortly. Also got to learn about the Oath Keepers, which I had never heard of before. I LOVED their “orders we will not obey” and you can visit their site here:  http://oath-keepers.blogspot.com/2009/03/oath-keepers-declaration-of-orders-we.html

I learned so much and felt more like an American than any other Independence Day.

Hope you enjoy the pictures. I will return with a “real blog” tomorrow. I have the day off (thank God) and will have plenty of time to write what has been clouding my mind for the past few days.

The two above signs are the ones I brought. They were a big hit…

It’s a “life changing device”!

You woulda had to been there… 😀

POURING rain and having a blast

My hair was soaked! Rolando’s… not so much.

Sgt. Charles Dyer with Oath Keepers

Uh…. does someone have a bar of soap and a towel? HAHA

Proof of Obama’s ties with ACORN lmao

Hope you enjoyed the pictures as much as I enjoyed the Tea Party!

http://www.twitter.com/RealBlackWidow

Our Government is like… Football?

Let me explain…

Anyone who follows the NFL is aware of the state of the Oakland Raiders.

We suck.

While I don’t like admitting it, I know one day we will be back on top of the AFC West and the Chargers will be crying in their sleep. But here’s the thing… As long as Mr. Al Davis is in power, I don’t think we will rise to the top anytime soon. I love my Raiders with all my heart… hell I even have a Raiders tattoo! But Mr. Davis needs to be thrown out. He’s too much like Barak Obama.

“How is Mr. Davis like BHO?” you may ask…

Al Davis has been the owner of the Raiders since the ’60’s and has been in control the whole time.  Never had a General Manager for the team.

When he hired John Madden to be the coach of the Raiders, we were winning like crazy. He still has one of the best records for NFL coaches of all time… I THINK but I’m not 100% sure, but I think Don Shula who coached the Miami Dolphins in the 70’s had a better record.  Anyway, Al Davis loved how the team was working.  Everyone was happy, things were going his way, Madden succumbed to every last thing that Davis wanted. This went on for quite a few years… and then there was Jon Gruden. Gruden was probably the best coach we had since John Madden and Al Davis blew it.  For some reason Davis got it in his head that he needed to control everything. Everything Gruden did wasn’t good enough, despite us winning multiple games. (Mind you this had gone on with other coaches before Gruden, but none were quite as good as him.) Davis fired Gruden after six WINNING seasons with the Raiders.

Does that not remind you of Obama firing the CEO of GM? Granted GM was in a world of hurt, but why?

Now that we have had 5 coaches in 7 years, our team is in shambles. Davis feels the need to regulate everything the team does.  He will not accept help, much like BHO feels HE needs to control everything with this country. Davis doesn’t trust anyone else to take matters into their own hand and has had spats with current coach Tom Cable and some players. Obama doesn’t trust the American people and therefore is taking it upon himself to try to control us all.

It isn’t working for the Raiders, it won’t work for an entire country.

While these two men may be smart, their controlling ways aren’t. Obama was right when he said the country needed change… but this is not what us Americans had in mind.

Don’t blame me. I voted for the old white guy.

God Bless the USA!

Tonight I leave you with these amazing pictures that need no explanation.
God bless the USA and Enjoy your INDEPENDENCE!

Beautiful Burst
Beautiful Burst
Remember...
Remember…
Freedom isnt free
Freedom isn’t free
Aww
Aww
Republican Raider
Republican Raider
I love this site...
I love this site…
To sweet
To sweet

This one brings tears to my eyes...
This one brings tears to my eyes…